Archive 11
April 2005
Thursday - April 28, 2005 - Blahh...
Yea, Im not going to be on for long, I might do some math and then Im going to bed, Im pretty tired.
Not much going on. CHelsea and Joe, tsk, tsk. They both came like 20 minutes late to practice together and everyone was ragging on them for it. They deserved it, Im sorry, lol.it was fun. Shot's not too bad. Ashley's beating me, I need to step it up. I need to work on my glide, its pretty weak. Kind of angry theres no practice on Saturday.
definitly time to get off. You can tell I have no energy but my use of language, its just sad right now. do I even know me?lol I give up, time for bed "thats all I ask of you" (indifferent)
Ashley loved you all the way @10:05 PM
Tuesday - April 26, 2005 - Tedium...
Today went by faster, A-days (as yesterday was) are always slow. Choir is such a joke, I really don't feel like going to the concert tomorrow night, we sound so bad. I don't want to miss track either becasue Todd said he would teach me the full spin and I really want to learn it, and I just hate missing track in general.

Monday - April 25, 2005 - A Long Week...
It definitly feels like it should be at least Tuesday. I wasted my life today on this thing, but I havent been on in a while kind of not really. I made a phantom icon, will post it later, made another one the other day, fun times.
Here's Chelsea's profile, great quote (that girl is just full of them, and also not to mention luck with guys):
as we grow up we learn that even the one person who wasn't ever supposed let you down probably will. you will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's not easier the second time around. you'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. you'll blame a new love for things an old one did. you'll cry cuz time is passing too fast and you'll eventually lose someone you love. life is short. take too many pictures, laugh way too much, and always love without holding back.

Isn't that something? I really think it is. I didn't feel like starting the ftp, I am too lazy and ready to get off this thing and start my homework and get some food. Also, actually have a life. Got to get some sleep for the track meet tomorrow; hopefully I will throw okay though today showed no signs of tomorrow looking any better.(sick)

Ashley loved you all the way @9:03 PM
Saturday - April 23, 2005
Yea, today wasnt too bad, kind of tired now. Time for bed I think. High school is way too much drama, and life is way too comlicated and stressful, maybe Ill take some advice from Thoreau, or copy him, but that would defeat his whole point wouldn't it? whateverm time for sleep.
btw- play was amazing, omg, I cant wait, I have to see it again and the movie comes out soon, yes! 9 days...
Appetizer: Name something that helps you fall asleep. Long list, most of which I need, music like Titanic soundtrack or Frank Sinatra (soothing), boring book (Iliad or Scarlet Letter), thinking up stories,lol, stretching
Soup: Who brings out the best in you? Caitlyn used to, miss that girl, now...probably Ro, shes just amazingly nice, love her
Salad: What do you like to do on a rainy day? If its warm enough, go out and enjoy it, if I stay inside, watch a good movie or read a book
Main Course: Complete this sentence: In our home, we never have enough... everything(lol), no really food, sun tan lotion, sandwich bags
Dessert: Which shoe do you put on first? right, Im right footed (satisfied)
Ashley loved you all the way @11:47 PM
Friday - April 22, 2005 - Bishop Eustace = Nazi Camp...
Brother Jim has turned into Hitler of late. It is simply ridiculous and really annoying. I have so much other shit to worry about, I really dont need one more thing to add to the long list, least of which would it be something as inconsequential as uniforms. I heard they were complaining about the girls track team's shorts being too short, give me a break. I hear rumors also, probably false, that they're going to make us wear our hair up and no makeup. That is just overboard. That whole thing is a joke. No wonder all the teachers are leaving; I myself am getting ready to leave.
Im so bored with life. Not really actually, I just felt like saying that. I feel bad, Kate was originally going to hang with mere and rachel so I made plans with the sciullis, laura and caitlin. Later Kate called and asked if I wanted to hang out. I probably would have preferred that, but I couldnt then. So sad, we def have to do that soon, we havent done it in a while, not since cancun anyway, lol.
I got pretty stressed over course selection and college today, spent second period in SPS talking to Sarah and Ro about it. I do not want to take Honors Physics: I hate physics, and am stuggling through Chem and as I also did through Bio, both of which at least mildly interested me. I heard physics is even harder, I am taking two ap courses next year. I need to find out my career, college goals and talk to someone. Mr Sherlock is never there and sucks. I dont know who to go to. Id like to talk to Mr Marquart about linguistics, but he scares me too much sometimes, Im very easily intimidated.
Ashley loved you all the way @10:55 PM
Sunday - April 17, 2005 - Do I Have to go to School...
Yea, Im just starting my article analysis now at 10:30. It deosnt help that I dont feel that well at all. Life just sucks major ass right now. It hardly feels like a weekend just went by. I dont know how I am going to survive the next week, I am so drained; the weekend only made me more tired and frustrated.
Joe, yea he is the source of all my problems. Not really, but it does feel nice to go on with the pretense that there is one simple thing to blame for all this crap. You have to love him though, he is so cute sometimes. His away message at the moment: dreamin of her. In his profile he has:April 15, 2005-greatest night of my life. The night of mere's party, and the advent of Chelsea-Joe. Chelsea just texted me that her and Nolan broke it off mutually today. Though she said theyll probably get back together eventually. I dont knnow, its a hard decision that she faces. Joe is a great guy, but also is Nolan, and she and him have been through a lot and are closer than many people ever get.
I give up, I really need to get the whole thing out of my mind. I decided I need to let them do their thing without getting involved. I dont know if its better Joe is with one of my best friends or if it would be easier for me if he was with a stranger. At least now I know hes with someone who will treat him right I guess.
I suppose I should start writing now, though my mind is elsewhere and I feel like I dont even know. I just want to go to bed and never wake up, truth be told (I dont mean to die by that but rather sleep for a long time). Yea, its been about half an hour and I havent done anything. I'll need to get offline I suppose. I just, I dont know. I dont know anything anymore. If it werent for track I wouldnt even be considering school tomorrow. namarie (gloomy)
Ashley loved you all the way @11:11 PM
Sunday - April 17, 2005
quoted message from Chelsea, "noland and i broke up. it was on mutual terms and were best friends and will prob. end up back together but this is wats best for now"
before, the night after Joe asked her out, she texted me "im servous! i really like Joe but I LOVE nolan but its starting to feel like nolan is just a friend and that scares me"
As is obvious I cant concentrate on my schoolwork. I think tomorrow may be a sick day. I have so much chem left and this paper is unfortunatly not writing itself. Once I concentrate it will be done in like half an hour, but its just not coming to me now.
I was just talking to Zim and he actually just found the article. It doesnt sound like hes coming in tomorrow either. Hes not too bad online. Really, he doesnt bother me much at all. If you can believe it, I was actually going to ask him to dance at mere's party, but by the time I got around to it the song (I dont wanna miss a thing by aerosmith-the only reason I was going to ask) was almost over. Hey, I was desperate, he looked like he was too, lol. He's never been too mean to me personally so I cant hate or even really dislike him, I think he can have good intentions. He is very insecure and so picks on others, like a grade-school bully. Hes just very matter of fact also, not to make excuses, and B-rice can be the same way.
Ill try and write a but more, maybe a paragraph or so, tell Dad about my hookey and then get some sleep. (distracted, tired) 12:52

Well, a wrote a nice portion of my history paper, time to retire I think.
Actually, Im writing here because guess why? Yea, hard wasn't it. I picked up my phone and was just fooling around (Im pretty bored) and went into the messages category and it reminded me of the message Joe left me when he decided about cotillion. I had actually saved it for a while, Im a stalker, I know, but it just disappeared one day, kind of sad. That was horrible when that happened, that is when I really started liking him, ironic isn't it? I actually think it is what got him and Chelsea started talking because he was asking her what to do. The iron doesn't end. Then Im the one who sets them up, or at least ensures their relationship.

I watched Titanic this morning; I love that movie. Its so great, I forgot how good it was. The story is so wonderful and some of the scenes are just amazing. There is a great sense of truth in it; there isn't a happy ending, life isn't like that. Life is hard, it doesn't always and hardly ever will end the way we want it to.
The scene where he pulls her into the gymnasium, the morning of the sinking really hit me more than ever before. It kind of epitomizes how I feel right now (except of course, no respondent feelings from Joe). Jack loves Rose and realizes that maybe she doesnt love him. He still, however, wants her to be happy and do whats best for herself and he knows that that isnt staying with Cal. I like Joe a lot, I'll not deny it any more, but I know he doesn't have any feelings for me. That doesn't stop me from caring about him though, so if he wouldnt be well with me, I want him to be with someone who will treat him right and who he really cares about. Chelsea I think, fills this role well enough.

I dont know if it would have been better to see the two of them tmw and let it sink in or to wait and try and let them cool down. Waiting might heal my heart a bit or only make it hurt the worse when it is reopened. I don't know. I just, am so confused and frustrated by that whole situation.
I want to be happy for the two of them, and am when I see them from afar, but when my feelings return and I see them together, you might as well be throwing a dagger in my heart.

I feel bad about not going to school tomorrow, I've missed so much this year and I really can't afford to miss any more. I feel guilty about missing over work also, its kind of like cheating. I can tell myself I don't feel well (i really didnt earlier) but that is really just a lie to make my conscious feel better. I despise lying, Im not good at it either. Really, if everyone else in the household hadn't insisted on going on the computer all day, I wouldn't be forced to stay home tomorrow, and that is the truth. I would have had plenty of time according to my calculations, but everyone messed me up. oo well, I shall have to ease my conscious with some deep prayer before my repose. (guilty)

Ashley loved you all the way @2:06 AM
Saturday - April 16, 2005 - It Deepens...
Appetizer: What was your first "real" job? Well, I haven't actually had one yet
Soup: Where would you go if you wanted to spark your creativity? outside, especially to a river or the woods
Salad: Complete this sentence: I am embarrassed when... I say the wrong things
Main Course: What values did your parents instill in you? not puncuality, honesty, truthfulness, kindness
Dessert: Name 3 fads from your teenage years. well, my teenage years are now, so... big sweet 16's, big cotillion dresses, small coach/prada purses, bohemian, tunic tanks, mini-skirts- sorry, forgot or actually never noticed the 3 limitation

OMFG Im so pissed, I just wrote this whole damn entry and its gone, this is really beginning to piss me off. I seriously do not feel like typing the whole damn thing again. Im going to shoot someone or something.
Damnit, I cant stand this, today only gets worse and worse, let me hope to God that Sunday doesnt increase on this already horrible trend. Yea, my mood went from bad to 10x worse.
Today just sucked unbelievably so. I threw like absolute shit at the meet. I was so excited to be in it, had practiced really hard, and just died. I think it was nerves from being my first varsity meet, but that is still no damn excuse. I let everyone down, everyone. myself, Todd, Rachel, Jordan, Sarah, Ms. Hughes, the whole track team. I literally was crying I was so dissapointed in myself. I just didnt know what I was doing today. I am still really pissed just thinking about it.
Everything from last night didnt help the fact either. I managed most of the time to keep it out of my mind, but Sarah didnt help reminding me that I "was so flirting", YEA, I KNOW! God, leave me alone. I give up, just whatever.
This week I am going to work my friggen ass off until I throw exceptional. Everyone is going to think Steph has returned in my presence its going to be that bad. Yea Im going to do hw now, cya later. (irate)

Ashley loved you all the way @11:14 PM

Friday - April 15, 2005 - Misery incalcuable...

Yea, Im really, I dont know. Tonight should have been great, wonderful, and for the most part I suppose it was. I had fun dancing most of the time, how could I not? Kevin made me happy by dancing with me, made me feel semi-wanted, I was very grateful, I dont care what anyone says, but he is a nice guy, or at the least has always been so with me.
My heart is torn apart, shattered into a million peices though. Chelsea and Joe look as if they finally go their stuff together. Earlier I had sat next to him, and told him in his ear to go dance with her, he was resistant but I finally convinced him as always. They were holding hands, embracing and together near the end. I wanted, should have felt nothing but joy at their finally getting together. I, however, only felt a deep hurt. My emotions, finally coming out now, I suppose that is what has been killing me of late. And the worst is I cant help myself.
Sarah had said after I talked to Joe, that she saw me flirting, and I incessantly denied the accusation of course, but she wouldn't believe me, not that it was the truth anyway. Everytime I looked at them I just wanted to be sick, it just killed me in ways I cant begin to describe. It's pretty ironic that I'm the one who ensured their match.
Other things went wrong too. I feel separated from Roe and Michelle, and I don't like that. We were all pretty good friends at one point, and I miss that. I like them and I am sad at the fact that we cant all put aside our differences and let us all be close again like we were.
All night I felt separated also from Chelsea and Cady, and also Ashley and Kate at times. Chelsea was very sporadic, Sarah was cool, she kept by my side. I saw Alicia and Abby especially a lot. Rachel, who doesn't seem to like me all that much, kept on stealing Kate and Chels away, not that I mean to say it in that way. More, she made me feel excluded, the big theme of the night I think.
Chelsea, Cady, and Rachel got paid by Mere's older brother to make out with each other. They continued it on for fun later. I was definitly disgusted. I was actually looking for them and walked over right before they did it.
I tink Chelsea is feeling her freedom and taking full advantage of it. Not that thats a bad thing, mind you. She said she talked to Nolan last night about Joe and mentioned something I had said. Nolan gave me a compliment like, well, shes the ... (morose)
Ashley loved you all the way @11:14 PM
Thursday - April 14, 2005 - I hate technology...
Yea, I am officially pissed. The last two entries I had on this did not save so they are now lost forever. I am majorly pissed cuz its not like I can reproduce them. From now on Im going to have to write these separatly on notepad and then just copy and paste into here when Im done. Im so pissed though, I cant even describe how angry I am.
Yea, nothing much to say. Im not going to even try and retell what I was going to say. (frustrated)
Ashley loved you all the way @6:31 PM
Tuesday - April 12, 2005 - Yola...
Like the word? I just came up with it today: a mix of yo and hola, hot don't you agree? lol
TOday was so much fun, omg, just great. Throw off, not too bad, 70 in discus, 25 in shot. I tied Ashley in shot and beat her in discus, she is kind of my standard now. I was pissed in shot cuz on my second throw I did my glide right and put power into it, but I fell out right at the end. Todd said I threw over 28, though he always exaggerates so it was probably around 27. Not too bad, Im definitly getting better which is awesome.
That is besides the point though. The real juice comes from this edition of Chelsea and JOe, Will it ever happen? Like my show title,lol? Someone who shall go unnamed was telling a quartet of us track girls about something. It was a good story, not to be all superficial or anything. It was interesting, I expected it, but I dont know if so soon. It definitly made everything else make so much more sense. I do not envy being in her position, as Cady said, she has a lot of bravery, which I could never hope for. I give her so much credit, and I dont think it was a bad decision on her part, if she felt ready then thats all that matters. Its probably better she took a break from it all to clear her head though. It is something huge.
Back to the subject, lol. (hungry)
Ashley loved you all the way @8:31 PM
Monday - April 11, 2005 - When Somebody Loves You...
Yea, I just felt like saying that because I've had that song stuck in my head for like ever.
Track was okay today. The actual practice sucked ass for most of the time. I started off at shot, which by the way, Todd never went over to until the last five minutes of practice by which time I had moved on to discus. I sucked at shot, though it was pretty funny watching Karl and Joe. It was me and Penz, then Cait came pretty soon, then Chels showed up and of course hung out with us. Ashley also floated and switched places with me when I went to discus.
I gave up on shot at half past four and figured I should work on my discus throw anyway. There were a lot of guys there, Sarah was kind of annoying me, Rachel was cool. I actually threw pretty well today, I got it back, lol. Todd came over at the very end to basically tell us practice was over. I threw a couple times and he approved. I feel more comfortable again.
At shot was pretty funny. Joe was saying he was angry, and I replied I was frustrated though I often confused that with anger. Karl chimed in, most seriously which made it all the funnier, that it was sexual frustration on both our parts. He continued on with such lines as, some people just need to get ass, etc. It was hilarious. More than a couple times, from other things, we were all rolling on the ground, or at least on the ground, because we were laughing so hard.
After practice was actually better. Dan was coming late, so I found Cait and Jordan in the "field house". Jordan left, she is so nice, amazing girl there. Me and Cait went and yelled at Joe in the weight room for lifting on the dya before a meet. He came out and the three of us talked for a little. Todd and McKenna came soon enough (all the guys had a competition in throwing the girls discusies - including Karl, McKenna, Todd) and then mostly him me and Joe talked about various track stuff including Sarah/Zim, and random crap. I love Todd's randomness: every once in a while he'll come out with the weirdest knowlegde or story. Like today he was saying he could tell Zim wasn't listening to him because he took a class on non-verbal communication or something like that in college.
Joe left, so Todd left too and luckily Dan came soon after, perfect timing. Todd is great, I will seriously cry if he leaves. I am slowly getting over Joe, I dont think I was so blantant in my flirting as always, lol. No, I was pretty good today, I talked more than usual, but that was about it. I was a lot more comfortable than usual after practice too (with him that is). The phase is showing signs of its passing. Chelsea can have him now, lol.
I better get to work on my religion project, it shouldnt be too hard. I actually felt like I got a lot done this weekend, between seeing the play, the meet, getting my curtains, tea party, church, practice, cleaning (grandmom's and my room), and the new layout. Not too bad for a four day weekend.
I forgot something in my track story. Joe had said he was in the weight room to release his anger. I had mentioned I run (a much better conversation with him than usual, it actually went both ways, lol), he said maybe he should be angry when he runs so he'll do good. I asked why he was angry, he said becasue he was angry at himself, mostly because he had made that comment to Malamaci about his girlfriend, Dana Hoyt. (Joe had said she was heavy, overweight) Joe hadnt meant it to be taken seriously, but he realized after it wasnt a good joke. He was kicking himself over it, I felt bad for him. Its so great to see a guy who actually feels for people other than himself. He so sincere and kind, its such a change from almost every other guy. Its the thing that makes him so attractive and why Im having such a hard time getting over him. He says sorry so frequently and for so little things you want to say its okay, chill, you dont need to say it that much.
I need to stop thinking like that though, lol. I better go work on all my crap, namarie (accomplished)
Ashley loved you all the way @7:28 PM
Sunday - April 9, 2005 - Bored out of my mind...
Appetizer - What is a symbol that inspires you? the infinity symbol, not to sound too gay, it reminds me that live is everlasting and there is always something to strive for, and you have to move on
Soup - Name something (either serious or funny) that has happened in your life that you would consider a miracle. everything that happened with Whittier, although Id like to forget it sometimes, especially his name, it was kind of magical, I was lost for that time from the real world
Salad - How do you handle criticism? Badly usually. On the surface Im okay, but under it kills me. sometimes,like at track, when it can really help me, I really want it
Main Course - Complete this sentence: I feel alone when... Im in a big crowd of people Dessert - Name one TV show you wouldn't want to be caught dead watching. The Bachelor

Wasting my life away as always on this thing. I think it is time for a new layout, considering this is a winter one and it is now spring. Im sad, I lost the lotr layout I made on the old computer cuz I couldnt find a way to transfer it. Ill have to hook up the old computer or something, lol. I really liked it, its kind of depressing.
Think I might do a Frank Sinatra one. who knows though.
Was very church-active today. I went to the service for the first time in a while. Good sermon, glad to take comunion. Volunteered at the Victorian Tea Party, had to wear a horrible dress.
I want to order track shoes, but the ones that I wanted, which were on sale, are no longer, and there arent any really good ones anymore. Even the really expensive ones arent that great. I dont know whether to wait til others go on sale, or buy some gay ones now. I think Im going to wait, because I really don't like the ones there now. (artistic)

Ashley loved you all the way @10:38 PM
Spent about 3 hours on the layout, not fully done, have to get off though. not too bad, dont you think, I may still fix the image some, add some typing, etc.
1:13 AM

Saturday - April 8, 2005 - Utter confusion...
Track meet today: all today. Pretty fun for most of the while. A rousing game of truth or dare between me, ash, chels and cait. We always have fun. The three of them killed marciante, chased him and made him shriek in a deafening (not to mention high-pitched) shrill. It was fun
We all threw like crap, but thats okay. I think the only great performance was JOe who threw out of the ordinary 32. I was sad I missed like all of the guys throw.
Joe, what a touchy topic. I was surprised but not, that the other three knew I liked him. They were kind of off thinking I liked Todd though. They said it is just small things in the way I act. I suppose it shows a bit: Im not nearly as obcious as those three though.
Confusion, yea. Im full of contradictory and conflicting emotions. There are too many, so I am getting really confused. I am telling myself ignore Joe, be good, etc, but my heart does the total opposite of course. I am getting better, though today was hard. I hate to say that Chelsea doesnt help in her venting of her own frustration to me over the same exact topic. She does it quite frequently, but has much more cause than I do.
I think that maybe she should try Joe, very slow and cautiously. But I dont even know about that. Nolan is someone you find a couple times, if that, in your lifetime. I'd like to know who/how-they decided to take a break. Its a hard topic. Chelsea often says to me, why does he have to be so cute. True, Joe is very irresistable in some ways. Mind you, he has his faults, some many I havnt discovered yet. He gets very frustrated when he throws, kind of immature in a way, not to be mean. Chelsea says hes too nice, I dont agree, I dont think you can be too nice. He can be your average guy, especially in the presence of others. He is pretty mean to Marciante among others sometimes.
If you couoldn't tell, Im trying to convinve myself why I shouldnt like Joe. Hopefully I will succeed, though I am highly doubtful. As Todd told me at the meat, you got to have confidence in your potential and skills to really make them work. Its all mental (confused)
Ashley loved you all the way @11:20 PM
Wednesday - April 6, 2005 - Noo, no, no, How could you...
Chelsea...Yea, her and Nolan are taking a break. I don't know if its long term, if they are broken up, but there is some sort of separation. I want to ask Joe whats going on and yell at him, but he is a nice guy and that would just be mean. He is a cool guy, but I can't forgive anyone who comes between Chelsea and Nolan.
That boy...
I need to go write my newspaper articles. Some music might help me. I'll be here a while yet most likely.
I still can't believe, my mouth went agape for like 5 minutes. That boy...he has it coming. Chelsea needs to talk to some people. I would love to talk to Nolan right now, and Joe.
btw-anyone at Eustace reading this: warning: don't you even dare mention this to anyone at school or I will hunt you down and you will have one very sad family (disappointment)
Ashley loved you all the way @10:31 PM
This computer officially pissed me off. It froze of course, living up to its predecessor. I had started writing finally on my Model UN article and I didnt get a chance to save it. Then the computer only recovered like the title. Karl also imed me, but I didnt get the messages cuz I had to shut down, and then he was signed off when I got online. Todd never answered my questions, or at least he never sent them, so I guess there will be no track article. Whatever, I really am past the point of caring. I just want some sleep at this point and to get this damn article done.
I give up. Can one quit life? There is no one to ask about the Chem. Im so tired and I have so much to do. There are not enough hours in a day. (gloomy)
Ashley loved you all the way @10:51 PM
I have the worst writer's block now. I hate it. I am seriously ready to cry I am so damn frustrated. This is horrible. This chair is really uncomfortable as well and it doesn't help that I've been sitting on it for over an hour. I also have not even 3 sentences. I really want to give up
later-have some tea and frank sinatra, may the world be brighter. Maybe, at the least my writer's block will diminish...
11:26

There is nothing like a good cup of pg tips. If I smell it while its still hot it brings me back to England. That is something, if nothing else that relaxes me a bit and eases my mind
12:13

Tuesday, Arpil 5, 2005 - life...
Yea, I don't know what I'm talking about, don't pay any attention to me, haha.
I gave up on Flash FXP, I'll try CoreFTP now, it seems to be working, at least for the moment.
I'm not gonna be on too long, I'll probably get back on later to do some crap, I need to go do something, clear up to phone line anyway.
Todd is horrible with instant messaging, he takes forever, oo well.
Yea, I have like the attention span of an ant today, almost worse than my brother. I give up, I like cant do anything today except for throwing. maybe cuz I poured all my concentration into shot, I was dead for anything else.
Ashley loved you all the way @7:42 PM
Finishing the Friday Feast...
crushes: Brad-this year, more of an obssession than anything, Joe- touched me (not physically dumbos) the way Nate did, I have an affection for him more than anything, just a really great guy
Main Course - If you were a member of royalty, what would your title be? Me and Kate went over this in mexico, haha. She will marry William and be Queen, and I will take Harry to be Princess of Wales, spotlight, but not too much. gotta love England too
Dessert - What colors are the clothes you are wearing today? being at Bishop Eustace and its monochromatic self, I am forced to wear black, white and grey everyday of my life, black and white at the meet, grey after, now black and white. Real colorful today arn't I? lol

Yea, hopefully Todd will fill out my interview questions asap, I'll try and start my other newspaper article today and some Chem, if I get lucky.
(doubt the aforementioned) The track meet went pretty well, at least for me. My glide is steadily getting better. I threw, 23,22 and then 26. my last was obviously pretty good (at least for me). It felt good when I threw it, still a lot to work on, but I am getting somewhere.
Im gonna finish my email to Todd and get off this damn thing, haha, cya later

Ashley loved you all the way @9:25 PM
Back for some more, haha.
Joe and Chelsea, just had to vent on them. I am pretty much over Joe myself, almost there. The two of them though. tsk, tsk. Bad timing I must say. I talked to Chelsea about it in choir yesterday.
Shea talks to Joe online all the time. It sounds like they have good convos, he actually is involved, lol, something I can never get out of him. She said they were talking yesterday about flirting (first, who talks about that-people thinking about that aka people in love/infatuation). Chelsea described herself as giggly, etc, all of which she coincidentally is around Joe. Joe said he looks into a girls eyes, and then followed by saying Chelsea has gogeous eyes, then said something else about eyes. Chelsea asked if that was a compliment or something and he admitted it.
You can tell more by seeing them with each other. The way they look. They have the whole friendly fighting thing. Like at Wendys the one day they kept finding things they had in common and getting playfully angry at each other for copying. They hug ten times each practice. its cute, but Chelsea is walking a fine line when it comes to Nolan.
She was saying it is deeper with him (Nolan), shes just getting a bit bored (it has been two years), but she just seems confused. I feel bad for her. Joe obviously likes her, and he is such a great guy, he is really hard to resist. Also hes new territory, but she will find his faults soon enough.
I just laugh at them sometimes. Tonight they both left our thrower chat room at the same time. Too much coincidence. Chelsea hasnt been sleeping the past few nights. JOe even offerred for her to call him then if she wanted (so sweet). He coincidentally has an away message "trying to sleep after a long day...insomniacs call i will probably be up". I dont know. This reminds me of the Alex Bradley incident too much. Chelsea needs to see Nolan. I would hate for them to break up like that again; they really have something special, something I could only hope for with anyone. Chelsea is lucky beyond description.(listless)
Ashley loved you all the way @10:38 PM
Friday, MarchApril 1, 2005 - Spring Break = do nothing time...
OMG, the mall was so much fun. Me, Chels, A Cleaver, Cait Eck and Joe Regina: fun times. It was so great. I love Joe, he is just the best. He is such a gentleman and so nice and just amazing. He has to have a girlfriend, cuz all his greatness is just going to waste right now. He needs a girl to sit him down everyday and tell him how great he is.
Anyway, no more Joe ranting, lol. We got food, talked, and convinced Joe to come. The we went looking, tried on a lot of crap and fooled around making fun of people (I felt kinda bad). Joe called back, we hung around and waited for him. Me and Chelsea ordered a humongous cold caramel latte, or something like that, which was just crazy. We went shopping with Joe some more, though we were much less productive then. Me and Chelsea forced Joe to get pictures with us in Limited Too, great times. I look like a ghost, you can't see Chelsea, and Joe looks high. It's all good. Then we left.
I really need to stop wasting my life away on this damn computer. I should really start my homework, which is what I am going to do when I eventually get off this thing.

Appetizer - Describe your week in one word.roller coaster (compound word my friend)
Soup - Tell about a funny practical joke that you've played on someone (or that was played on you!).I cant think of any great ones
Salad - Name someone you had a crush on when you were a kid. bah! one, I could go on for a year. Let's make a nice interesting little essay out of this.
list first: Bobby, Ian, Jeremy, Jesse, DJ, Nolan (luv ya Chels,lol), Nate, Jay, Markie, Shea, Brice, Joe, B-rad
Some description of the more important ones:Bobby-first love and kiss (kinda), Jeremy-the boy next door, great friend, first real kiss, Nate-liked him a while, still something there when I think about him, really cool, misunderstood kid, Jay-I loved him, first real crush

Will fnish later, have to get off.

Ashley loved you all the way @10:20 PM
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