Archive 16

October 2005
Tuesday - October 25, 2005 - School Is Not On my Buddly List Anymore...
I feel like I am so behind and that I have missed so much school when I really haven't. Besides the one day for Urban Challenge, and the two mornings for orthodontist appointments, I haven't missed any more school this month. I am missing a french test though, I have three tests on Thursday, will pile up all this work I am missing tomorrow for retreat. I really wish I didnt have to go on retreat, it totally messes up everything. Im missing a french quiz, in class math review (though going after school should make up for that), health (who really cares), and history large group. So I guess besides history notes/review and french, Im not really missing anything. Its just a lot of stress. Ms. Cecil was angry because "I resceduled my retreat to a day of her test." Sorry, but I think two tests outweigh one, and Im just glad not to be missing her class. I am so relived that Ms. Henihan let me swith days, it is so much easier this way. Really, that Steve is there is a bonus

On that whole subject... Yea I dont know, I really dont. Mere had some good words of advice at lunch, one of her rare moments of sheer brilliance (mind you this was in the middle of her whole conversation of obssession over Johnny Depp - she knows the year he lost his virginity, am I the only one who is concerned?). Kate was wondering whether she liked Gatti or just wanted a boyfriend, and later she was also saying that when she was around him, she had no doubts that she wanted to be with him. But when she is alone she is unsure about the whole thing. Mere was saying that is how it should be if you really like them.

I woke up late today, say 8:15 so I was late to school, again. One of these days Im going to get a detention. I found out Heather's car got hurt and so now I have to take the bus every morning and afternoon- which is really not cool at all.

Two really ironic happenings today at school. In religion we were talking about the balance of virtues, in particular confidence. Pinto was going on about how some people have such low-esteem they really hate who they are and everything about themselves. Yea, I can find empathy with that view sometimes. My self-esteem has always sucked majorly, for countless reasons I dont feel like recalling at the moment. Yea. And at current events we got talking about free speech. My Marquart was mentioning blogs, etc and how they can push the limits of free speech.

I have no luck, my life sucks. Not really. As Sarah also said -she was a on a roll today- I, on the surface am angry, but am actually happy with everything now, excited, but happy about not being happy. If that makes any sense, lol. She also said it looked like, I was flirting with Steve. Woah, lol. Steve is just really comfortable to talk to and dance with because we are such good friends. Its what sustains us, lol. Me and Steve, BFF, lol.

I cant stop playing with my retainer. At least it doesnt bother me too much anymore, my talking is almost normal.

As I told Kate, we are are both in love with love. To just muddle your brain a bit there. (unsure)

Ashley thought you were the one @6:14 PM

Monday - October 24, 2005 - Avoiding Schoolwork...
I should be doing schoolwork, but Im not. Ill do it after the doctor's.

I want to talk, just to talk to someone. (Im kind of annoyed that my mouse is broken-in one of Dad's rages against the computer he, as always, was banging the mouse up and down, but he must have had more force this time becasue he managed to break it.)
I am so tired of cleaning, I never want to clean again, ever. All saturday and sunday I cleaned for the party (cleaning the actual firehouse before and after), I cleaned the gym and just about every dish at our dinner on saturday night for youth group. Then today I cleaned my grandparent's house (my job -which I was late for because I was too tired to get up until 12, lol) and I have to later help clean the house for the cleaning ladies (a paradox I know). I will clean though, dishes I actually dont mind when it is only sparingly.

Doctor's, same as always. Though I was much happier this year. I stayed the same height, no surprise there since I havent grown since 6th or 7th grade. (cynical)

Ashley thought you were the one @8:17 PM

Sunday - October 23, 2005 - It's Time to Party...
Fantastic times tonight, if I may say so myself. The DJ wasn't completely smooth, some of his songs, especially in the beginning were too unknown and urban for our crowd, but it all worked out in the end. Leading up to the party was nerve-racking and kind of tense with all the argument and disagreeances between everyone on everything. I was short on time for getting ready, cuz as usual I, at the beginning was like oh, I have plenty of time. So I take my time, painted my nails, slowly straightened my hair while listening to some good old Frank Sinatra. The put on my jeans (btw- Which I loved to death) and went to put on my makeup. In the midst of that I realized just how short of time I was. Actually took a while with it (even though I sweated most of it off late, gross I know, but anyone who didnt admit the same is just lying), party cuz Sarah was trying to do her's in my small bathroom in front of the same mirror silmutaneously to me. Rush around afterward, for jewelry, shirt, shoes, jacket and brush, and presents (which I didnt end up giving out anyway, oh well, at least they're now ready for Monday. Yea, I realize I go on many tangents semi-off-topic, all the time.) Late for the DJ and Sarah's parents, finally made it out the door and to the firehouse for the last time. Final set up, grabbed a piece of pizza.

Party time, lol. Brice and Michelle arrived first, and we had fun guessing who the next guests would be. Ed next. After that everyone came in pretty steadily, said hi, received gifts, gave hugs, etc. Everyone settled around the door,standing. I got Gab and Steph to dance fast enough, and soon Mere, Rach, Chels, and Kate joined in. Girls went back and forth dancing, most people just chilled though.

About an hour in, everyone got more comfortable, spread out and danced more. I danced practically the whole night, with all sorts of different people. Ex1)Alicia, Ashley, Caitlin, Erin, Steve 2)Kate, Mere, Rach, Chels 3)Gab, Steph (though the former spent much of the night with Ben Comer-a little romance going on there, lol) 4)Ro, Michelle, Brice, and others too. A lot of people wandered.

The party really picked up in the last hour, which kind of stinks (that it was so late), but it was awesome. We got the DJ to play stuff we know so everyone got on the floor and danced. I though it was awesome that so many guys were dancing; at several points during the party it was almost eniterly guy/girl pairs dancing.

I danced with a lot more guys than I usually do, thanks entirely to outside encouragment, especially Ro, Sarah (and Ashley -who all night would not stop bothering me)

Time for bed, clean tmw (get up early), do hw, goto doctor. Yes, what a fun day to follow a party. (excited)

Ashley thought you were the one @1:40 AM

Saturday - October 22, 2005 - The Long Short Day...
A paradox, yes. I did too much today bw Model UN, Youth group stockholders dinner (and cleanup) and cleaning and arranging the firehouse for my party tomorrow. Yet, the day went by in a seemingly flash, especially since the end of Model UN.
That was fun this morning, though I am always bitter at the awards part, cuz I stink and never get one, lol. Had fun with Sarah and Brice during the seminar. Dinner was nice, though I felt like my hands would never be dirty again after all the dishes I helped wash/rinse/dry/put away. Firehouse was kind of annoying because I couldnt find a good way to set up the furniture, etc. I hope the party goes alright tomorrow, Im starting to a get a bit nervous/apprehensive about it actually.(refreshed)
Ashley thought you were the one @2:03 PM

Wednesday - October 19, 2005 - Fun times...
I feel so energized and alive today, it was a very good day. Kate is really happy, which makes me happy (which reminds me I have to call her back) and she is so fun to watch, the whole situation is just really cute. Though I must say I wasn't too entertained when right across from my locker, the row was occupied by two couples (Michelle and Kev, and Stopyra and Damato). They are fine, just having them right next to each other, kind of depressing to any single person, lol.
I felt so good tonight too, I got a lot accomplished. I came home, went on the comp and talked to Steve for a bit. Went to my grandmother's, came home, I went outside. I jumped around, cleared and went on the trampoline, then I ran for 15 minutes. Came home, took a shower, ate, came online, and completed everything by talking to D'Urbano and Steve and Kate.

Zehpora is so annoying, its such a complete and total knockoff of jumanji and then they cant even come up with their own music for the trailer, but steal it from the lord of the rings. get your own life, really.
time for lost.


Tuesday - October 18, 2005 - The Days Go By...
Just came up with that one for no particular reason. I am feeling all hyper and happy. All today and last night I was kind of depressed and not feeling well. I didnt know why, but after school and now at home I am doing so much better. Yea I figured out why, its because I talked to someone after school, yea.
Ashley thought you were the one @3:59 PM
Now my computer is totally not working and it's really pissing me off. It was working just fine last night when I was on. I hate when people try to mess with the computer and dont know what theyre doing so they mess everything up. Then they all ask me to fix it. dont mees with it in the first place you idiots,lol. Im seriously going to cry, my computer is not working at all. Its getting me so frustrated and upset. I was talking to D'Urbano and my connection just died and now I cant get it to work again. I dont know if this dsl is worth all this crap.
I gave up and reconnected the dial-up, Ill have to try again later. Did I mention I hate computers.
It's still not working, and I am getting really angry. Im so tired too, and havent done any of my homework. Ill probably get off the computer just because it is bothering me. One last try.
Ashley thought you were the one @6:22 PM
Well, I finally got it to work, it turns out that the firewall was blocking it, Ill have to get rid of norton or find a way to fix it. the world is reconciled again. It is very nice now that it works. The web works so much faster; I can download a song in less than a minute, it's awesome.

Im back to being happy again. I feel like dancing, man, I cant wait til my party this weekend, it is going to be freakin awesome, lol. I of course wont mind getting some presents, having my party, but really I want to dance so bad. I was going crazy to power 96.5 after school. great stuff, I need some grinding, lol. Yea, im def too hyper to be on the computer anymore, time to go outside. (energetic)

Ashley thought you were the one @8:00 PM

The blog right now isnt too dangerous, except maybe one or two comments, it's my new additions that are lethal.

Monday - October 17, 2005 - Love is in the Air...
...everywhere you look around.
An exaggeration, but I am beginning to feel like that. Between Kevin and Michelle who are always... together, and kate I am constantly reminded if not already thinking about it. Myself, I am pretty calm right now, nothing exciting or interesting in that area, which I do not mind in the least.

I dont know why Kate feels so bad obsessing to me, I definitly did it last year about monkey boy, though we shared in our stories because that was during all the Rob events of last fall. I enjoy not obssessing.
Im so tired and confused. My thoughts are so complex and screwed up I dont know what Im really thinking or feeling. Its just one big mess. I prefer to leave it alone right now, though that is really annoying too because then I can't think clearly elsewhere.
I dont know what to think. I am choosing to control my thoughts/feelings this year as opposed to last year. I am not going to go through an obsession with someone who will never/does not like me, especially if we barely talk. I just hate that whole process, etc.

I have gotten absolutely no work done, time to get serious or Ill be up til midnight one again, not cool. (distracted)

Ashley thought you were the one @5:59 PM
my god, I cannot think, my mind refuses to function. time to abandon the comp for a bit I think, return later.
<Ashley thought you were the one @6:05 PM
No sign still, so sad. I need to write my article and then read Grendel. not get distracted.

Guys are so hard to read. Gatti's profile just changed (yea his song of the week changed the past two days,lol) It could be about someone, or it might not be. He says its for the summer, but yea, that only increases the ambiguity. As Chelsea said though, you can't read into things, you just have to take them as they come for what they are.

I am so tired, I really don't feel like doing my schoolwork or being on the computer. It's like a bad addiction: I dont want to be on it, and want to get off, but I cant force myself to do just that.

Appetizer: Who is someone you would consider to be a calm person?my dad.
Soup: What was your last "gut feeling" about? Were you right? cant really remember
Salad: List 3 words that you really don't like how they sound. quart, curse words usually arnt appealing to the ear either.
Main Course: What kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use? At the moment, aussie shampoo and garnier fructise conditioner. I actually just stopped using john frieda brilliant brunette not too long ago.
Dessert: If you found out that you definitely do have a guardian angel, what would you name it? Gabriel was my first instinct, however, I prefer Andrew after some thought.

the art of Pablo Picasso-crazy, mutli-dimensional, need a tour guide
Health insurance-w/e, Ill worry about it later
the year 1937-good movies
Ants-the movie, yucky
Ballroom dancing-fun, fun, I want to learn (w/a certain someone, lol)

I'm still not admitting it, Im maintaining the fact that I am just getting OCD about them, nothing more. denial is fun times.

Ashley thought you were the one @10:14 PM
Sunday - October 16, 2005 - Long Weekend...
It was a lot of fun, but soo tiring. I am dead and still have tons of homework to do before tomorrow and tuesday, I am going to pass out.
Yea got talking to Rob, Steve and Kate so I have done no work yet, not good at all. Rob is so addicting, lol. I missed him and Steve so much today, not cool, it would have been so awesome if they were there.

later...
I've been talking to rob forever. He is one of the few people who actually talks online. I dont feel like I am pulling teeth to get more than a few words out of him. I love talking to him, its one of the few reasons I go online, lol, and steve of course,lol. (too many lol) I need desperatly to go do my homework, I have soo much. its kind of depressing, I dont want to face it. oh well, I suppose I must. (happy)

Ashley thought you were the one @11:36 PM

Friday - October 14, 2005 - Don't Say Goodbye...
I love talking to Rob so much, I look forward to going online just to talk to him, it's just so much fun, lol. I love to talk to Steve a lot too, and other people most times as well, but I don't know. It's probably mostly cuz I don't get to talk to Rob in person. He's so much fun to talk to, and always very interesting, I would love to get to know him better.

Brief recall of field day and pre-festivities. I was pretty depressed on the way and when I first got to Rob's. Stev cheered my up pretty fast though. I hung out with him and Sarah and partly Ashley during most of the time we were at Rob's. Kate, Chels, Mere, and Rach get really hyper when they are together, too out going for me to fit in well. Kev and Michelle were basically kissing/cuddling the whole night, lol, good times. Ro hung with Rob and wandered elsewhere. It was fun though, I really liked my shirt this year, and the paint isn't to puffy, so it will be as uncomfortable to wear as my one from sophomore year.
I fell on the floor laughing at mine and Steve's deplorable darts' skills, we also got pretty competitive at air hockey, good times (cuz I won, j/k). I must commend Rob on his music selection, even his sister's addition of Kelly Clarkson. I enjoyed some Weezer, Linkin Park, etc which I never hear anywhere else - if anyone has rock it's the emo kids who only have indie bands no one has heard of. I rocked out to it, regardless of whether I did it alone or looked like an idiot.
Back at Kate's everyone was pretty tired, I fell almost straight asleep, seeing as I nearly did as well on the car ride there.
Morning was hectic, kind of non-spirited cuz everyone was so tired. I had slept okay, though my hand died when I woke up; I had kept it under my head so my hair wouldn't die, but the pressure pretty much made it freeze up. I thought it was funny, but also a bit annoying when I couldn't see the time on my watch because I couldn't get my finger (which had practially no feeling or movement) to press the little light button. Makeup, shirt, tights, shorts, food, hairspray, french-braiding, and car to Eustace.
I went ot my locker early to get rid of my crap. Saw Kern and Maser. Mrs. Arnold caught me as well but thankfully with my good relations with her she let it slide. She actually got me off the hook with Penza when we went downstairs as well. Saw Steve later, fun times. I must admit I enjoyed Steve's comments on the uncomfotableness of his tights,lol. good times.
Homeroom, really just hangout time, for once. Kind of random: all juniors and seniors with one frosh and one soph. Pics and chatting. Me and Ro left early, we joined Michelle and Steve in homeroom.
Mosh in the hallway to the rush through the field house, much jumping up and down before we took our seats. Somehow, Steve, Sarah, AShley, Cait, and I got separated from the rest and erica, noelle and gab ended up at the top.
I was very disappointed in the many juniors who continued to sit down during much of the rally, including many of my friends, so sad. Steve was into it, we did it, and Sarah was right there with us. Got out on the floor dancing, good stuff. Much spirit. We conquered basketball, failed horribly at dodgeball, did pretty good at tug-o-war and we stunk at rapping, though Mr Annarreli represented, as did Mr. Italiano.

Home with Heather, awesome person. Sarah and I trudged to, through, and from the mall (in the rain). Caught some very nice sales, especially at Express. Together, we probably tried on at least 25 shirts, good times, we each got 2 (for $6 each) so it wasn't all in vain. I picked up a skirt at Wet Seal for $10. Met a funny guy at Le Gourmet Chef, trying to market some stuff, I actually did like the "tangerine" juice he was marketing. We were both dead when we got back, so we chilled to Alexander (the movie) and fell asleep,lol.

Went out with Mom to Fridays, I was finally able to catch a Flyers game. I am glad Gagne is doing well; I missed hockey so much last year, it is so amazing to spectate, probably my favorite, yes, even over soccer.
Mom surprised me at Best Buy by buying me an ipod. I was so happy; I've been wanting one so unbelievably bad for the past couple months and after dissapointing gift results from my family I figured I wouldn't be able to afford one myself.
I am now uploading all my songs to iTunes and then to my iPod, should be good. (happy)

Ashley thought you were the one @12:18 AM
Thursday - October 13, 2005 - It Feels like a Friday..
No real school tomorrow, stayig over Kate's tonight and going over Rob's for a while to hang out with everyone. I actually talked to D'Urbano during school, in real life, lol. He's a cool kid, and he wasn't as nervous as he usually seems to be.A fellow conservative, how could anyone doubt him?

Maybe I'm alone in these thoughts, but I thought some of the guys looked pretty fine today. Disco isn't my favorite look, but some of the guys just pulled it off well, Tom, Brice, and Cramer among others. The girls was just no. The freshmen's theme was the best: Braveheart. I really wish we could have done that, it would have been so much fun. Some of them got really into it and looked like they just walked out of the movie. Mr. Italiano looked amazing, he wore a kilt, a belt/pouch, I can't remember exactly what they are called, I know the furred ones were sporrans. Anyway, he also had a polo oxford, knee high socks, a beenie, and some good shoes. Serious kudos to him, he seriously looked like he just flew in from Scotland. Burky looked good too. One of the frosh was amazing. He had a big wig on that had plaits in it, a real kilt that had the sash thing, a good shirt, etc. I was pretty jealous.

I don't know why but I was really angry when I got home, I nearly killed the door, cuz the chain was on and it took me a while to get it off, my room isnt helping because it is such a huge mess. But I took a shower and it was all good. About an hour or so til I leave for Rob's with luck. 4:14 Yea, Im definitly pissed right now. I should have left for Rob's an hour ago, and yet here I am stuck at home waiting for my Dad to get home who is still over 15 minutes away, and of course we probably wont loeave for another half an hour once he gets home. I call him and hels like I thought we had to leave at 6:30. He never f'ing listens. 5:30 you idiot. Gosh, it annoys me so much, he is just so inconsiderate sometimes. It gets me really upset.

Now I'm all angry, emotional, upset, and just not in a good mood. Besides some moments yesterday -mostly with Kate- I haven't been in a good mood since Thursday or even earlier. I hate this, it feels like I have depression or something, lol. These are the moments where you feel like being emo: turning off all the lights, painting your nails black, turning on the music real loud, lighting some candles and crying on your bed - cite from track there, we always had good fun making fun of emo people.

Im really not in the mood for field day. Tonight should be interesting with the great varying mix of people. The only good thing about last year with the small amount of people was that we were all eqaully close and no one was left out. In large groups I really suffer, cuz I get pushed in the corner and left out, it sucks. I have a bad feeling I'll get caught between groups tonight and pushed out of both essentially. Tomorrow should be interesting as well. There is absolutly no one I know on my team. I am really really hoping that I can join someone else's team. Then it might rain tomorrow or just be wet so we will be inside or stuck doing random games.
Let's just say my (school) spirit is waning right now.()

Ashley thought you were the one @6:49 PM
Wednesday - October 12, 2005 - You Hear It's My Birthday...
Yea, good day so far. I can't stop smelling my arm; while I was at the mall with Kate and Rachel, Rachel sprayed the new Britney Spears perfume (Fantasy) on all of us. It's really strong, but it smells amazingly good.
Kind of sucked that I had to take the bus and thus get up while it was still dark, but I managed to stay overly cheerful this morning. Dan got first rights at saying happy birthday, so the day started off well. I started to get nervous that I missed the bus, but it eventually came. I sat on the corner, enjoying the brisk, cool fall weather while I waited. As I got on the bus I realized I forgot my calculator, but I didn't panic too long before I remembered that I could get one from the library. Chatted with Steve (stopenski), chilled to some Switchfoot. Went to the caf after the library once we got to school. Got some well wishers, chilled to my music. When Kate got there, the day just got so much better. Kate gave me a big hug, and a card, a sign, and an unbeleivable dozen white roses. She just cheered me over the edge, lol. Then I saw Steve, who gave me a sign and a card. (When I read his card later I wanted to find him and give him a huge hug but unfortunatly we were like 20 miles apart, lol) Kate's note was so sweet I wanted to cry and I gave her a hug again later, lol.
Homeroom was cool because it was just juniors, so we just hung out, though Mr. Powell is seriously PMS'ing right now, lol.

Red0ne733: how do i want to die
Red0ne733: that myspace survey
Red0ne733: i dont know how I want to die
aine121: in your sleep
Red0ne733: too simple. . .
aine121: lol
aine121: on the field of battle
Red0ne733: nice
Red0ne733: i like it
aine121: lol, a very glorious death
aine121: its unrealistic, but it sounds nice
Red0ne733: lol

Just a nice excerpt from our convo. I better get going. I still have homework, and I want to spend my brithday somewhere other than on this stupid computer.

PSAT's were okay, talked to Ro most of the time, made Steve laugh, and stalked someone else, j/k, not really. I did okay I guess, the calculator stunk, but if I did bad it was my fault,lol.
After school, I went with kate, we dropped mere and rach at the mall, it was so weird to drive with kate alone. went to bertucci's for lunch, fun times, to the mall, home. Ill describe later more, maybe. (giddy)

Ashley thought you were the one @5:00 PM

Tuesday - October 11, 2005 - So Long Ago...
It's so hard to belive that I was pretty good friends with Cait Eck less than a year ago. I remember the snow day, her, Chels, Mere, Ash, and I went into chatrooms together and bothered people, especially the girl who used "qerl" instead of girl. That was a fun time, so hard to believe it actually happened now. Or I suppose, more, what has happened since then. The whole feud between me and chels, ash, cait, how they hacked the whole track team into this blog. Whatever, that is one of those experiences in your life that you'd rather not think about. While it taught me many valuable lessons, I prefer to leave it in the past and move on.

Yea, the cool kids are still cool. Marciante talks to me a lot in the halls, or really lunch and after school, which is kind of weird, but awesome at the same time. Marciante is a cool kid, as I have said innumerously before.

Yea, I wasn't going to get mad at Zim, but I can't help myself. He pisses me off to death, and I can't stand it how everyone just takes his comments and doesn't do anything about it.

At least D'Urbano cheers me up. I always have fun talking to him, he just like, I don't know, knows how to boost your confidence inately, Kate sends me amazing proof of his skills.
Zim is still pissing me off just thinking about him. He's so rude with his comments. SO what if his criticisms are based on truth, you dont have to obssess over it. He always chooses people's bad qualities and makes fun of them for it. He makes people feel really bad about themselves. I dont care it what he says is partly true, thats no reason to be so cruel. I would hope he has some good in him, but sometimes it is really hard to tell if he does.

If you have never seen Phantom of the Opera or Closer, I would suggest you do. I got those and Troy, and Alexander this past weekend with my mom. They are all awesome movies.

I still cant forget Zim. He is just so mean. I can see him when he makes his snide comments regardless of whether I know exactly what he is saying. I'm so tired of him beating up on other people for his own enjoyment. It takes a lot of strength in character to not let him affect you. He really kills people's already fragile self-esteem. You really just need to not care about what he says, something I am usually able to do.
However, he (or people like him) is another reason I have no self-esteem. I met a lot of cruel kids when I was younger, not fun. Maybe Zim does have a joke or too that can be funny, but I most times can't stand him. I just want to punch him in the face and tell him to shut up and worry about himself and leave everyone everyone else alone. This is coming from a non-violent person. Whatever, I will pray for his soul, lol, j/k, Im not that happy clappy yet.

Yea, he is one of those reasons why humans get a bad rap, I don't envy his future wife (if he has one, though he probably will). Im sorry, but it takes a whole lot to stir pity in me for Zim. (angry)

Ashley thought you were the one @7:16 PM

Monday - October 10, 2005 - 2 Days... woo hoo...
Today was kind of depressing, yet at the same time uplifting. I chatted with a lot of people, which was awesome. Called steve, sarah, kate. Talked to all of them and Ro and D'Urbano online. D'Urbano is an awesome kid, which I think I've said about 5,000 times already, but its still true.

I'm going through phases right now. I think I'm over my previous obssession, only to discover a lesser new one. They are all so much alike it's kind of sad, but oh well. At least I am a bit more involved this time, and he is actually coming to my party, lol, good times.

I really don't want to think about the party.

Sunday - October 9, 2005 - Urban Challenge
I think this is seriously the most people I have talked to at once in like forever. I was talking to Kate, D'Urbano, Steve and Jackie all at once, and actively too, not just the usual hey, whats up, nmu, same, thats cool. lol, thats what everyone does, its so pointless. I mean why bother?

Marciante is a cool kid, so is D'urbano. theyre really fun to talk to, something I cant say for most people. 10:26

blah, still talking to marciante and steve now. Im so bored, though I have to get off soon, so that will all be solved. I dont know about junior trip, as D'urbano said, its kind of the whole, junior year only comes once thing, but its soo much money and there is so much else to buy this year, that money could go towards so much else. 10:39

Back on, pitiful I know, but my head is killing me. It hurts so much, I feel like crying. I feel like I have a fever or something as well because I feel really hott and stuffy. My stomach is bothering me too; theres a good chance I ate some bad food or something. The tea I had this afternoon really wasnt that great, maybe I'll make some pg tips to make up for it.

I want to goto bed, but just being in my hot room makes me almost pass out. Whenever I move or look at lights (yea the computer isnt such a great idea I know) or try to think or concentrate my head just pounds. I will try to goto sleep soon, right after I get off this thing.

Ok, I love Zim's profile, not really actually. He has all these acronyms from Urban Challenge aka UC...

"SPB!
FAAG + SPB
thats a shame?
GS FAAG SS'S KLLS Dr J
SPB is the/a man

(awkward silence with phil)

SPB SQUAD: ajg ah bb rt jz sb jc kevin

UC '05 "live the SPB"
good times good times

Yea, its really weird. SPB is Short, puny boy aka A Harrison [yea, I was definitly way off on that one. I kind of guessed before, but yeah. I really dont want to try and analyze anymore or Ill get really angry and depressed. I am kind of hoping Zim isnt coming to my party now. I would retract my invitation if that wasnt completly rude and mean, I still refuse to sink to his level]. For the life of me I cant think of who BB is, though it must be someone obvious, unless its supposed to be bp, as in b-rice. Zim's nice inside jokes. I tried to ignore him as best as I could on the trip, which wasn't too hard most of the time. However, a couple times he was unavoidable.
Steve's Urban Challenge cite...
"-Buying food for $12, Playing monopoly with homeless people, making new friends, hanging out late at night, playing hide-n-seek, eating junk food--fun times!!
:urbanchallenge'05:"
fun times is right, I dont feel like writing anything of my own, as I mentioned before, my brain isnt working and hurts when I attempt to force it to do something.

Some excerpts from Tom's always impressive profile...
-"There are always two choices. Two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it's easy."
-"The light is all I need to live,
It tells where I'm going to fall."
-"There's nothing for me here, it's all the same
And even though I know
That everything might go
Go downhill from here, I'm not afraid"
-"By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do "
-"The powerful control everything-

except our will to choose."

pretty cool, huh? No Cait Eck anymore, kind of sad, but I hate to admit that i am kind of relieved as well. Our "relations" were quite tense ever since spring track. I was okay but I could tell she was very uncomfortabel and avoided me like the plague. Ah, whatever, you live and learn, t'is the was of life.

My headache went away at least, so I can goto bed soon, finally. I think I'll do the friday feast before I go, it is always fun, I'll skip the intense question (main course) - I almsot freaked, when I first opened my favorites, nothing showed up, I havent saved those sites anywhere else, I probably should now. I love how someone deleted morpheus off the computer, very nice. though limewire works better anyway, so I guess it was a blessing in disguise... Appetizer: Name 3 qualities that are important to you in friendship. trustworthiness (essential), kindness, intelligence (yeah, Im sorry, but I have to be able to speak with this person on a deeper level)
Soup: If you could dream about anything tonight, what would the subject matter be? Haha, probably England/Braveheart (I love that movie, yes I know it takes place in Scotland), or maybe a certain someone, or someones from school.
Salad: Do you usually make an effort to personally thank people who do favors for you? I try, but my memory is horrible and my bashfulness does not make the process any easier so I usually never end up actually thanking people. I feel bad now...
Main Course: If you had to go out of town for an extended period of time, who would you trust to take care of your home and belongings? Kate, she is very responsible, will have her license soon and is one of my best friends
Dessert: How do you react to practical jokes when they're played on you? Outwardly, kind of fake smile on good days. I dont know, too weird

Casual Curiosity, a new meme by the same person who does Friday Feast, figured I would give it a shot...
(just have to give opinions, thoughts on the 5 topics)
1. Trivial Pursuit
reminds me of Chels who was playing it at the Inglis house yesterday, fun times, I got to play scrabble which was cool too.
The questions are always impossible and I stink at it.
2. Winnie the Pooh
-fantastic, I love Pooh. I grew up with Pooh, I have movies, bears, shirts (well, had), blankets, books, etc. I used to sing along. Great stuff, not like the crap today.
3. Kentucky
-hillbillies in the appalachains, no I don't know, no opinion really. I gave my initial reaction.
4. Pieces
-dont know much about it, though I love to watch the stars. Unfortunatly, you cant see hardly any from my house because were in the middle of so much development. England was amazing for that. I went running at night, and in the middle took a break by runnning to the middle of a park down the street from my cousins. The park was really a big open field, square, surrounded by rows of trees with paths between them. (kind of reminded me of the avon times) I would lie on my back in the somewhat saturated grass and gaze at the stars while listening to my music. I actually saw at least 2 shooting stars a night while I was there, it was awesome.
5. Castles
Another in depth one, lol. I absoluelty love castles. They are an emblem for everything romantic, majestic, noble, fantastical, whatever. I can't help but think I am back in time when I visit them. My imagination runs wild. The wonderful, long, thick, velvet, layered dresses, which you hold going upstairs. horses, open fields and forests. Ah, it's like being in a dream, funtimes. (blah)

Ashley thought you were the one @1:09 AM

Tuesday - October 4, 2005 - Not so long...
I don't plan to spend all night on the computer, so this entry won't be quite so long. I probably wouldn't even be writing if Steve hadn't reminded me. He is waiting for me to update as he said.

Not much to say really, trying to work on my journalism articles, making them not suck so much. I still have to write one about Mr. Italiano.

Yea, it doesn't work while I am talking to Sarah, I need to get off and finish my article, or rather start it. (mellow)

Ashley thought you were the one @10:02 PM
I gave up on sleep a long time ago, I can sleep in to goto the ortho anyway, so there you go.
Sinatra always stirs my heart for the worse or better. "All the Way", "All or Nothing", "It Had to be You" really get me, a lot. Anyway, they always stir my thoughts to guys, etc. I actually hadn't thought about that one person for a while...
It's all infatuations/attractions I think, just crap, as it should stay for now. I'm tired of being pulled along behind other people, I take my stand this time. Girl power all the way, lol.

D'Urbano was fun to talk to, he reminds me of talking to someone else, I can't recall who at the moment for some reason. He's a cool kid/guy. I don't know why, but I always fall for quiet guys. No, I take that back, I do know why, for good reason too. But it is a horrible habbit, because it virtually assures nothing will ever happen becuase neither of us, if we did happen to like each other (pushing limits of possibility already), neither of us would make a move and so nothing would come out of it. I give up, I sincerely do, in that department. I surrender.


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